


I'm Looking Over Your Shoulder

by Taudi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Minor Character Death, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-02
Updated: 2012-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-02 23:03:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taudi/pseuds/Taudi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi must finally come to terms with a dark secret he accidentally uncovered six months ago, but when it's the secret of the love of your life, it's easy to live in denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Looking Over Your Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by my friend Kat. The genre became a sort of futuristic AU. I chose to keep the Naruto-verse ranking system 'cause it's one we all know, and I must say that "Lie To Me" & "Guess I Should Know" by George Nozuka were a big help. I have fought hard and long with this fic and have almost loved every minute of it. I have tried to capture the feeling of being dropped right in the middle of everything.
> 
> Written for KakaIru_fest summer round 2010 from a prompt made by jv_troublesome

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/taudi/pic/00002pt2/) 

  
  
I'm Looking Over Your Shoulder  
  
  
It was an almost unbearably hot day with a humidity that didn’t allow the body to sweat and cool down. Still, the market place was over crowded with merchants, tourist, beggars, thieves and the usual browsers and buyers. The air was full of low prices’ and loud voices that wanted to be heard. His coat was foot long and worn, softly blowing behind him with every stride he took, leaving small swirls of dry sand in his path. The dark brown leather was decorated with the village's stylized leaf in green thread on the shoulders, four small iron stars on the high collar, showing the rank of Jounin. The leather pants matched the coat's colour, tugged into high boots that ended right under the knee. Even under the unnecessary heavy clothing it was obvious he was in prime condition, easily dodging people on the market street considering the limited space. There wasn't much to see of his face, half of it being concealed by a white mask, his left eye covered by a scratched metal plate held in place with a see-through strap around his head, making it appear to sit on its own. His silver hair was a hot gravity defying mess that just taunted you to reach up and touch. Which no one dared, of course, except for the goofy looking kid working the small takoyaki stand on Mondays and Thursdays. It had earned him two broken fingers, a bloody nose and a free sample of ground dirt.  
  
He was Hatake Kakashi and sometimes he loathed his uniform, especially when he could feel the sweat running down his torso, drenching the thin white shirt he wore underneath. He would had taken the rooftops home, saving him at least ten minutes if they hadn't lacked everything at home and he was too lazy to go home just to go back the same way he came. "All hail laziness", he mumbled with a small smirk and scarcely avoiding a cop scarred obese man shoving a glass jar of toffees' in his face, while promising good quality for a low price. Kakashi didn't bother a reply and kept walking. He scrunched his nose, he didn't like sweets anyway.  
  
When he reached the end of the market he heaved a sigh of relief, stopping for a short moment to shovel around with the brown, overstuffed paper bag trying to find a way to carry it in on one arm. He finally succeeded and was able to open his coat and a few buttons on his shirt, at last able to let his skin to breathe and not worrying about sand clinging to his moist chest. He secured the bag in both arms again and proceeded to whistle the whole way home, just to annoy people in the bustling streets.  
  
Kakashi dug his keys out from the bottom of his back pocket and unlocked the five sets of locks on the heavy rusted iron door that was the entrance to his home. It was not the best part of town but it was cheap and oddly enough the view, from the secured and black tinted windows in the living room, was amazing. He still thought it was worth the extra security, even though the locks were a bitch. He stepped over the raised threshold, not bothering to step out of his boots, and headed for the kitchen to put the bag of groceries down.  
  
“Welcome back, Hatake-san. Was your day pleasant?” a female voice sounded in the apartment. It was slightly distorted and mechanical and Kakashi loathed it. He had always been the type to relay on his own two hands. In these times people had blind faith in the technology that surrounded them, there were even rumours about a new religion worshipping the flow of electric power, whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. But if someone really wanted to make panicked chaos, all they had to do was blow up the Power Sources, and the whole planet would be shot down. Everything people relied on would be useless. And so, Kakashi had made sure he knew how to live without the luxury of everything being done by robots and other stupid gadgets. He could turn the light switch on or off himself, sweet Kami! Unfortunately every apartment, high-or downtown, was preinstalled with a so called 'Maid', who had control over everything, light, alarm, television, radio and kitchen utensil that was tuned in to the owners voices. It was somewhat intelligent, and apparently coded with manners.  
  
“Will you shut up, it’s not like you give a fuck”. It blissfully didn’t respond. Kakashi walked down the narrow hallway entering the door on his left hand, which lead to a fairly big kitchen, and sat the paper bag down on the steel counter. He placed his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned forward, his forehead resting on the dark and cracked wood of a cupboard. A sudden beeping and vibration from his inner pocket rattled him out of his funk. He fumbled with his sweaty clothing, cursing when he accidently knocked the bag of groceries over, having him dive after the eggs before they smashed on the floor. Once he was able to flick the damn thing open the display mocked him with a _1 missed call._ "Shit", Kakashi muttered, aggravated, and dialled the number of his voicemail, hoping the person had troubled themselves with leaving a message.  
  
"Hey, you sexy thing! I won’t be able to come home tonight, there’s a sandstorm coming our way but as soon as it quiets down I will be there in a flash. See ya!"  
  
Kakashi wanted to scream, he wanted to throw the damn phone hard against the wall, to feel the satisfactory of the small device breaking into pieces. Instead he softly let it slide out of his hand and down on the counter. Iruka was out on a job again, Kakashi was sure of it, and had probably never left the city in the first place. Kakashi just wanted Iruka to come home.  
  
\-----  
  
Approximately 12 miles from a Kakashi verging on a break down, brown eyes surveyed the area, combining lines on blueprints with the actual streets and alleyways, finding the misplaced routes in mere seconds to store it away in a mind used to think quick and methodical. The owner of those eyes was perched effortlessly on the broken corner of a water drain, high above the streets, unnoticed by the people beneath him.  
"This is insultingly easy", slipped past clenched full lips, a sneer soon following _Too easy_ but of course that didn't stop him from proceeding with the bothersome thing. He was on a contract after all. "Damn greedy bastards", was uttered, while he swung down on a tiled rooftop below him, landing smoothly not wasting any time before running silently along the ridge.; _At least I should have some fun out of this_ , a wide grin exposed bright teeth along with a mischievous spark in the brown eyes.  
  
\-----  
  
Kakashi reclined on the living room floor in a big nest of thick pillows and blankets, enjoying the cool breeze from the open window, yet again blessing the floor-to-ceiling windows that ran the length of the living room. The only furniture in the room that had a permanent place was a big bookshelf filled with two lives collections of books, Kakashi's Icha Icha series blatantly sticking out. The three low tables changed places day to day, depending on where they were needed, and all the pillows and cushions automatically followed along. Even the many pictures and posters adorning the wall opposite the windows often traded places; it was mostly on a whim from Iruka who wasn't a fan of the stable and predictable. All in all it was a placed worshipping the cosy and comfortable. The only thing Kakashi missed was the warm, hard body of his boyfriend. He had been good this time. There was indeed a sandstorm in the district outside of town, where he was supposedly doing his charity work for the week, and it made it easier for Kakashi to face his colleagues in the morning. He sat up briefly to fluff a pillow to lie down again in a more comfortable position on his stomach, opting to take a light nap before making dinner for one.  
  
\-----  
  
 _They were walking down the abandoned street after catching a late movie. The air was a bit chilly but it was nice after a scorching hot day. Iruka had his right hand down the back pocket of Kakashi's jeans, while ranting lividly about how bad and clichéd the movie had been. Kakashi only listen with half an ear but Iruka didn't seem to notice. The silver haired man just watched his boyfriend's flushed cheeks and the brown locks swaying slightly from the energetic hand gestures he was making to emphasize his point. "Move in with me", Kakashi said suddenly, interrupting the passionate rant. Iruka stopped mid stride, eyes wide, lips open in surprise. Kakashi couldn't fight the temptation of full lips and the quick glimpse of a pick tongue so he bent down and kissed Iruka. It seemed to wake Iruka from his stupor and Kakashi felt the breathless 'yes' on Iruka's lips before the kiss was returned fiercely. What he didn't see was the calculating look in Iruka's eyes_  
  
\-----  
  
Kakashi awoke, eyes snapping open in alarm his instincts going haywire. He knew that sound, knew it too well. A bright green flash was soon followed by a deep rumble and Kakashi stood frozen, the strength of the explosion vibrate through the entire building rattling the windows. Even from the distance he could see the changes of colour in the flames. Blue replaced pink, which then turned into white. The thick billowing from the compound Kakashi knew to be a water plant, started to resemble a smiley. When there was yet another explosion Kakashi snapped out of his shock and snatched his jounin coat from the table he had carelessly thrown it upon. He dashed out the room and into the hall, while trying to put the frigging thing on. He slipped down in an old pair of sneakers, not even sparing his knee-high uniform boots a glance. He barely managed to open the door before he heard his phone ringing. He padded around in his pockets, and rolled eyes at himself when the sound clearly came from the kitchen. A purple flash made its way, another delayed rumble shaking the walls. Kakashi cursed and ran for the kitchen, knocking his shoulder on the doorframe in his haste to reach the insistent ringing. He located it on the kitchen counter where he dropped it earlier.  
"I'm on my way", he said as soon as he had flipped it open. Once again he made a mad dash down the hall, thinking the rooftops were the best route down to the Station.  
  
"You are forgetting your keys, Mr. Hatake." A female voice suddenly popped.  
  
\-----  
  
"What does he gain in us knowing he did it?"  
  
They were gathered in Tsunade's office. The small forces that were still fighting against the hold Orochimaru had gained over the city by whispering in the Village's leaders ears.  
  
It was a young chuunin, named Naruto, who had spoken. He was brash, rude and a little dense but loyal to a fault. Something that baffled Kakashi lately since he had had Iruka as a teacher.  
  
"The fun of toying with us, telling us we literally suck because we can't catch him even though he leaves signs. And well, it benefits the scumbags who hired him." Genma answered, sucking loudly on his senbon.  
  
"How?" Naruto's blue eyes narrowed.  
  
"It shows people that they are powerful, wealthy and stupid, if you ask me, enough to hire the most disloyal and untrustworthy assassin and telling everyone not to mess with them in a big exploding neon sign." Genma tried to show the size of the sign with his arms, spreading them out wide.  
  
"I bet you the Water Plants' have had someone trying to buy them out. Guess they knew it wasn't for the common good and denied." Kakashi said from his placed next to Asuma, leaning against the wall. There were small grunts of consent around the crowded room. Kakashi kept repeating to himself that Iruka was trapped in a sandstorm away from the village. Like a record caught in a riff. The system was so corrupt so why should his home be any different?  
He was getting worse at believing it.  
Tsunade suddenly slammed her fist in her desk. Empty bottles of sake clattering in her drawers making Genma, who was propped up against one of the legs, jump nervously, two senbons materializing from his sleeve. Kakashi couldn't help the small grunt of amusement.  
  
"This is not good, people! It was one of the few private owned Water Plants still left."  
  
Everyone knew what that meant. Orochimaru was getting closer at reaching his gold to own all the water supplies, meaning he would have complete control of the desert their Konoha was turning in to. It was all hidden behind fake firms and names but it could all be traced back to the Snake with a little effort and a lot of guts. It could easily be the last thing you did.  
  
"And now he's using The HoaXer." Gai was unusual subdued. No talk of youth or blooming flowers or whatever. Kakashi thought he would praise the day that happened but it was too grave a situation.  
  
"I need a drink." Tsunade said dryly. Kakashi couldn't agree more.  
  
\-----  
  
 _The day was spent in peaceful laziness, dedicated to fast food and sex. The late midday sun was blasting through the big windows and Kakashi still couldn't believe the luck they had in finding the apartment. Iruka lay naked on his stomach on the spare futon they had carried into the living room, with a book open in front of him, eyes running over the pages steadily. Though the glorious tan body was on full display there was no stirring of desire in Kakashi. "I love you" he said quietly, feeling like his chest was about to burst. He got no reply but the beautiful smile on Iruka's lips was all he needed, and he let himself fall onto his back on the futon, curling his fingers around a delicate ankle the solid pulse under the thin skin lolling him to sleep. He never did see the dark flash of victory in Iruka's eyes_  
  
\-----  
  
Kakashi woke up groggily the red numbers of the digital clock on his nightstand blaring angrily at him. Only 20 minutes left before it would go off. He grunted, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes while reluctantly crawling out of the warm bed. He staggered quietly around the room, still half asleep, letting Iruka sleep for the short time he still had left. Forgoing underwear he just crept into a pair of dark green sweatpants, with the word _strut_ in bold white letters on his ass. Iruka had always had a crude sense of humour and Kakashi wore them to merely hear the snigger it provoked from the tanned man. Snatching Iruka's high collared black pullover discarded on the hallway floor from the day, he padded his way to kitchen, putting it on. The fabric clung snugly to his larger frame, revealing his taut muscled chest. Kakashi's sharp nose caught the familiar whisks of dry leaves and musk, ignoring the underlying faint scent of smoke completely.  
  
Two tan arms encircled Kakashi's waist minutes after he had heard the hideous sound of the alarm going off in their bedroom. "Mmm... you're wearing my shirt." Iruka purred contently burying his nose in the crook of Kakashi's neck, breathing in their combined scent. Kakashi smiled and leaned into his boyfriend's naked chest flipping over a slice of bacon on the hot pan. Iruka sniggered and a "strut baby" was mumbled into Kakashi's shoulder. The jounin's response was a teasing rocking of his hips, which made Iruka grunt into his shoulder followed swiftly by a wet trail of saliva along the shell of his ear in revenge.  
  
"Goddammit!" Kakashi cursed and rubbed his ear furiously with the palm of his hand. "Awww... you poor thing." Iruka cooed, not sounding sorry in the least.  
  
"Get away from me," he said and playfully tried to shove an elbow into Iruka's ribs. The young teacher avoided the pointy appendage with ease and made his way to the coffee machine, pouring two mugs of steaming hot caffeine.  
"Something wrong?" Asked Iruka, when he placed one of the mugs next to the plate Kakashi was piling the sizzling bacon on.  
  
"Hmm?" Kakashi was distracted with turning off the stove and setting the hot pan on one of the cold hotplates. He could of course say turn 'off the hotplate!' to the Maid but that was the sure way to fat land. _I really don't wanna be fat_ he thought sulkily, no, he wanted to keep his six pack, thank you very much! And of cource it had nothing to do with how much he loved it when Iruka would trail the defined contours with the tip of his tongue. He was cruelly interrupted from his musings by Iruka's index finger tapping him on the nose.  
  
"Get me a plate, you goof." Iruka probably knew of his thoughts judging from the smirk on his lips. They ate their breakfast at the kitchen counter. Iruka sat on the counter top, heels thudding into the cupboard below it. Kakashi cleaned the kitchen while Iruka showered and got dressed for his work at the Military Academy. And yes, something was wrong. Everything was wrong. Kakashi knew he should have walked out the door month's back. The way Iruka had evaded his elbow, which should have hit perfectly, had just gloomily reminded him of who Iruka was too. But he couldn't let go of the domestic mornings and content nights. Kami, Kakashi could almost hear cheesy background music every time their lips touched. He was not ready, no matter how selfish it made him, not yet.  
"Not yet." He whispered, while scrubbing the pan free from fat.  
  
"I'm out." Iruka said cheerily from the hall. Dropping the pan in the sink, Kakashi took a quick glance on the clock above the door. He walked over to the doorway and leaned a shoulder on the frame, watching Iruka securing the sturdy bag; he used every day after Kakashi gave it to him on a whim two years ago.  
  
"Isn't that a little early?"  
  
"Nah," Iruka strode up to Kakashi a bounce in his step, "I've got some papers in the faculty I need to check over before class." He gave Kakashi a sloppy kiss at the corner of his mouth and swept out the door without looking back. Sighing Kakashi decided to take a couple more hours of sleep. Tucking the pullover's collar up to his nose he ambled back to the bedroom, knowing deep down that Iruka was lying.  
  
\-----  
  
He lived for this. The speed, the adrenaline, and above all the bend and then quick snap, when the bone gave in. It was about technique and controlled power, hitting the exact right points at the exact right time with just the right amount of force. It was an art to draw as little blood as possible, making the bones snap without tearing through some of the main arteries. He reveled in it and didn't feel anything but proud of himself, when he stuck his mark into cartilage and bone, watching the flesh slide aside for the sharp edges, just as the client had prescript. All done in bright daylight. _Too easy_  
  
\-----  
The shrill ringtone of Kakashi's phone broke through the silence. Kakashi closed his book and grabbed the device from his nightstand. He flipped it open and leaned back into the pillows, thinking it was Shizune calling to tell him better be on his way to the office or else…  
  
"Yo." he said coolly waiting for the verbal bashing. But it was not a voice hidden with amusement on the other end.  
  
"Kakashi-san, you should come downtown."  
  
\----  
  
He arrived at the scene, the area swarming with chunin's, medics and a couple of nosey onlookers. He found Asuma standing behind the restricting tape talking to a chuunin he couldn't recognize. He absent-mindedly lifted the white and orange striped tape and ducked under, receiving a brief nod from Iwashi, who kept the journalists at bay. Kakashi wasn't sure how he was able to stay calm amidst it all fearing what he was about to encounter. Asuma met him halfway, stopping him from going further into the alley. He looked grim and the ever present cigarette was unlit and tucked behind an ear. It didn't bode well.  
  
"It ain't pretty, Kakashi." he said brusquely.  
  
"What's your theory?"  
  
Asuma spat on the ground. "There ain't any bloody theory. We are damn well sure who did this! The question is just who hired him."  
  
Kakashi went numb. _No_  
  
There was no blood on the old brick walls; the scattered trash on the ground didn't seem to have been laying the same place for weeks. There were no footprints in the sand, no traces chakra. It was done hard and fast. The two bodies was beside each other, both necks snapped like a twig but not before every of the major bones had toured through flesh and fabric. It should have been impossible to get the drop on Gai and his apprentice. The craft they had dedicated their life to learn was turned against them and it didn't seem like they had had a chance. Kakashi felt his stomach churn uncomfortably. More names to tombstones, and he had helped in putting them there. _Fuck_  
  
"At least we don't have to hear any more youthful speeches. They could be such a pain."  
  
Kakashi managed to stop his fist from striking the owner of one of the sleaziest and unwelcomed voice. He didn't need his crap right now.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He didn't hide the maliciousness dripping from his lips. Kabuto's chuckle sounded more of a hiss. It was a bad imitation of the man he worshipped.  
  
"I'm the lead jounin of the investigation, of course."  
  
Kakashi's otherwise cool demeanor broke, "Bullshit!"  
  
Kabuto slid his glasses further up his nose, with a finger, the bright sunlight reflecting into Kakashi's eye. The sly smile he gave, reminded Kakashi of his upset stomach, _Fuck_.  
  
"It's my department's jurisdiction, Hatake-san," it dripped of content venom, "and it is pretty clear, who the culprit is. From what I can see the case is already solved."  
  
 _Fuck_  
  
Kakashi wanted to slash that satisfied smirk right off that face. But what he could do was absolutely nothing. This was too perfectly staged and Kabuto was definitely involved being the right hand of the man, who controlled the Village from the shadows. It seemed the snake was getting impatient with the people, who were fighting back. It was the first hidden direct attack against them and Kakashi knew Gai and Lee was just the first.  
A strong hand gripped Kakashi's shoulder and he discovered he had reached after the kunai holster on his thigh.  
Asuma's gruff voice reached him "Let's go." And Asuma lead him out of the alley and away from the scene. Kakashi could still see the trademark of The HoaXer, a seven starred shuriken with an engraved smiley, lodged deeply between the eyes of his broken victims. Kakashi made it two blocks before emptying the contest of his stomach in a trashcan in the middle of the street.  
  
\-----  
  
The 'Maid' announced Iruka's coming home. Kakashi heard him shuffling around, depositing all his stuff to their right places. He was a little anal about that. Kakashi snorted. It wasn't the only thing he was anal about.  
  
"Why are you sitting in the bathtub, baby?" There was a hint of worry in the sweet voice. The silver haired man hugged his knee firmly to his chest and wished the man would stop the charade.  
  
"Gai's been killed."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Kashi." But Kakashi saw the bleak satisfaction in the brown eyes before it was quickly concealed by concern. Kakashi knew he would never have seen it, if he didn't know what Iruka was.  
  
Iruka crawled into the bathtub prying Kakashi out of his taut position in the cold porcelain and sat in his lap, embracing the larger man with his body. Lips lingered on the thin white skin of his temple, humming softly into Kakashi's silver hair. Iruka untied the strap of Kakashi's eye plate, and let it fall, the hollow _clunk_ echoing in the small, ordinary bathroom. His mask followed the same faith and Kakashi found he could breathe a little easier. The fabric of Iruka's black sweatshirt almost got ripped from Kakashi's tense grip, knuckles turning white.  
Iruka wasn't sorry and Kakashi had had enough.  
  
\-----  
  
Kakashi walked briskly down the halls, heading for Tsunade's office, knowing she would be there, putting the signing of papers and planning of sneaky schemes on hold for a not so secret cup of sake.  
  
He reached wooden door and tapped twice. The muffled "What!?" from the other side of the door was his cue to enter.  
  
"What do you want, brat?" She asked irritated, cheeks flushed a pale pink, a bottle of sake standing atop the clutter of papers, pencils and books.  
  
"Iruka is The HoaXer", there was no use in drawing it out. Tsunade became rigid, her eyes narrowing in on Kakashi.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
Kakashi retrieved the unfinished shuriken from his inner pocket and placed it on the desk in front of Tsunade.  
  
"I found this in our apartment."  
  
She picked it up carefully and inspected the seven dull blades with the incomplete carving of a smiley.  
  
"It's a very serious accusation for such small a thing," she said, precaution clear in her voice.  
"I live with him," he said scornfully, "so I have noticed his absence every time something major happened, where The HoaXer was involved and a bunch of other small incidences."  
  
Kakashi knew he sounded insolent, like he was talking to a five-year-old. He didn't care.  
  
"But only after you found this, right?" She drew attention to the shuriken by moving it back and forth. Kakashi didn't answer.  
  
"How long have you known?" The air became eerily silent but Kakashi kept his eyes locked with the sanin's.  
  
"A few months."  
  
She was up and around the table too fast for Kakashi to follow and slapped him hard with the back of her hand. His head snapped to the side but it didn't prevent her from slapping him again. When the haziness disappeared he looked straight into two accusing eyes.  
  
"You could have prevented this." Her voice was a cold low hiss, and it stung worse than the slap. His jaw tensed visibly under the white mask.  
  
"How come he hasn't figured out you know?"  
  
"Denial mixed with looking the other way, and that I didn't want to lose the man I love." All strength drifted out of his body and forced him to slump down into a chair, elbows resting on the edge of Tsunade's dark oak desk, head in his hands. He was just so tired. Focusing on the small scratches marring the desk polished surface hiding from the look of sympathy in Tsunade's eyes, he struggled with the words he were going to say.  
  
"Gather the one we can trust. He thinks I've gone out to get take-out. Maybe we have a chance to catch him, if we do it now. I think he believes he's safe at the moment so his guard should be down." It ended coming out in a blank and monotone voice, his mind trying to go into mission mode. It was unusually difficult.  
  
"It's going to be too rushed Kakashi" Tsunade said, "I don't like it."  
  
Kakashi heaved a sigh. "Me neither, but we don't have a choice. I can't keep up pretense after this."  
  
Tsunade looked away from him and Kakashi could almost see the gears in her brain churn wildly. "Okay, Kakashi, give me an hour to work with." She took the receiver of her plain office phone, index finger ready to push the necessary buttons, when she hesitated and looked angrily at Kakashi. "Don't think you're off the hook for keeping something like this to yourself." She said sternly. Kakashi just nodded, having expected nothing else. Then her expression softened, the small wrinkles at the corner of her golden brown eyes leveled out  
"Apparently we have all been fooled, Kakashi-kun."  
  
Kakashi leaned his weight on the chair's arms and got to his feet heavily. The small kindness from the sanin was gone and replaced by an air of cold efficiency, already barking orders at Shizune on a secure line. Kakashi turned towards the door knowing his world would crumple after this.  
  
The smell from the warm Chinese take-out was wafting in the air around Kakashi's nose. Facing the rusted iron door he tried to collect himself. He had told Iruka he would get the food to get some fresh air and a little time for himself after what had happened. Iruka had looked a little dubious but he had let him go with a demand of Chinese dumplings. Thirty minutes had gone since he walked out of Tsunade's. She had said an hour but he knew there would already be scouts out, investigating the area.  
The door screeched in its hinges but it was drowned out by the mechanical "Welcome back, Hatake-san." For once Kakashi didn't give it a rude reply. He made his way to the living room, knowing Iruka would be there. He had place one of the tables close to the windows, plates, chopsticks and glasses filled with water ready. He sat hunched over some papers, red pen in hand but looked up when Kakashi entered greeting him with a big smile.  
He reached out for the bag in Kakashi's hand, "food, at last."  
The chocolate locks were free from the tight hair tie, framing Iruka's face the white scar clearly marked on the dark skin. _Like bones_.  
"Why, Ruka?" Kakashi whispered softly, stopping the humming of delight coming from Iruka.  
And there it was, the sound of his heart breaking into pieces with the rapidly growing emptiness in Iruka's eyes.  
  
\-----  
  
"You killed them." Kakashi looked at Iruka, searching for some kind of reaction. All he got was a blank stare from the otherwise sparkling deep brown eyes, his face showing nothing, posture luring the unknowing into a false security but Kakashi knew him, could see the light twitches of muscles, ready to defend, escape, attack. Kakashi felt everything spiralling out of control. Everything had happened too fast, not giving his mind a chance to process it all and now everything hurt. And he had pushed Iruka to this, pushed him to show the other side. And now it was not his lover, the goddamn love of his life, which stood before him. It was a killer. The killer. Wanted on every known continent under Kami knew how many names and faces. It was the assassin that could get in anywhere and escape from anything. Kakashi had known for so long but he had always divided the two in his mind. Had always thought they were two persons and that his Iruka was the real one. The assassin was just an evil shadow that came when someone rattled a purse and a reason to take a life. When the sparkling suddenly returned with a fiery blaze, the face and posture never changing, he realized he’d been wrong. This was Iruka. Iruka was this.  
  
Kakashi had fallen in love with a man, who enjoyed killing, was good at killing and had been clever enough to charge highly for it.  
  
"I was on a contract." His voice was bland, giving Kakashi no hint of his real emotions. His friends, their friends, had just been a job and Iruka had dealt with them as such, now standing here looking Kakashi straight in the eye showing that he had no remorse. Rapidly Kakashi’s anger started to grow.  
  
"Did you know, Ruka, what I said to my friends the first time I saw you?" Kakashi kept calm amidst the chaos in his mind and squashed the urge to scream. Iruka shook his head sluggishly, letting a rough thumb rub under Kakashi's damaged eye.  
  
"I said _that's the man I'm going to marry_." the rubbing under his eye stopped.  
  
"Oh, Kashi," Iruka stepped closer to Kakashi, clenching a hand in Kakashi's leather coat, the other pressing a thumb hard against his lips, "for a genius, you can still be such a gullible fool sometimes."  
  
Kakashi wrenched himself out of Iruka's hands. Iruka let him.  
  
"Have you ever used me in gaining information?" The jounin could feel his blood boil rage in his veins. His heart beating fast against his ribcage.  
  
"Of course I have," Iruka laughed sweetly, "it was too much of an opportunity to give up."  
  
"So that's why you've stayed with me?" _fuck_ Kakashi really didn't want an answer to that question.  
  
"No, Kashi, no," and Kakashi deflated, feeling some kind of relief, when he saw the sincerity in Iruka's eyes. But the next words made him freeze, "I just lucked out that's all. Scoops from the opponent, a secure cover and a hot body to fuck when I wanted. Who wouldn't love that?"  
  
Iruka shrugged casually, a smile on his lips that irked Kakashi. But something didn't seem right. Kakashi narrowed his eyes.  
  
"You're lying." He said confidentially, knowing he was right when Iruka didn't manage to prevent a sneer. Somehow it had been enough to break the cool façade of _The HoaXer_ and he charged too quickly for Kakashi to react and clasped his head between his hands, fingers digging painfully into Kakashi's scalp.  
  
"Don’t you see!? Everything I’ve done has been for you. I protected you from other assassins hired by what you call government. They have wanted you dead for years. I even saved some of your colleagues and friends, to keep you safe and happy, to keep you with me." Kakashi couldn’t do anything else than look into Iruka’s brown eyes. The sparkling had become a scorching inferno that threatened to envelope him in desire, lust, safety, and behind it all lay a love so immense that it bordered on madness. Kakashi found it hard to breathe. The hands holding his head never relinquished their grip when he sank to his knees, limp like a rag doll, arms hanging at his sides. Iruka stood above him beautiful and deadly. Even though the grip of his hands was tight it was still full of tenderness and care. It was too fucking much for Kakashi, too many thoughts and feelings clashing together in his mind. He felt trapped, spun in an intricate web of secrets, lies, deception and love. He stared dazedly into fierce brown eyes and for a moment, just a moment; he thought he could forgive Iruka if it meant he didn't have to lose the way that adorable scar over Iruka's nose would increase when he smiled, the way he would brush his teeth in exactly two minutes or the way he felt inside of Kakashi, hard and throbbing. But he was Hatake Kakashi; Jounin of The Village Hidden in the Leafs, former ANBU and Iruka was an assassin a threat to everything he had been fighting his whole life for, and he did not forgive betrayal. The strength to his limbs returned  
  
"I fucking trusted you! I let you into my heart and body and you've done nothing but deceive me!" Kakashi hit Iruka hard, not wasting a second on thinking how he was even able to do that and used the momentum to smash Iruka into the wall. He felt the breath leave Iruka's lungs by the hard impact.  
  
"You're a main reason why my village is eating itself from the inside but somehow all I can grasp is that you've betrayed me and you dare to tell me it's out of your twisted idea of love. It's disgusting," Kakashi spat, "and I'm going to bring you down."  
  
Kakashi felt hungry lips descend on him and he couldn't do anything to fight it. The kiss was forceful and violent, a battling of tongue and teeth and Kakashi gave in to it, burying his hands in brown locks forcing Iruka closer to him. He felt a jagged pain in his left shoulder. Something was cutting through skin and flesh but he didn't let it distract him from sucking on the tongue in his mouth.  
  
"I hate you." He said against Iruka's lips, when they drew apart to breathe.  
  
"Two sides of the same coin, baby. You can't expect to take love without the heart ache." Kakashi drew back sharply unsure about the tone of laughter he could hear in Iruka's deep voice, and sure enough, the deep brown eyes where sparkling with mirth, a smile of amusement on his lips.  
  
"Don't worry Kakashi. I'm still gonna be your blushing bride… Someday…" and he licked the scar on Kakashi's eye from cheek to eyebrow branding Kakashi possessively, and just as the thick rusted iron door was busted down he spun around and leapt through the window the exact second it blew to shattering pieces, forcing Kakashi to shield his eyes and dive for cover.  
  
"Kakashi! Are you okay?" He felt hands grip him to sit him upright but he fought them off and ran to the broken windows, stumbling on pillows littering the floor but it was too late. There was no sign of Iruka's shadow and Kakashi had the inkling feeling that Iruka had always had an escape plan if something like this should happen. Kakashi felt like an idiot for not having thought about it. The man was anything but stupid. The ruthless wind made the long coat whip around Kakashi legs and drown out the questioning voices, the crunching of glass under heavy boots. Blood trickled down his shoulder, soaking the grey v-necked shirt that had once belonged to Iruka. He carefully pulled out the thing Iruka had left sticking out of his shoulder. He ached all the way to his soul and he knew he had gained wounds that would never heal.  
Kakashi Hatake was still deeply in love.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Tsunade's voice cut through the ringing in his ears, and she laid a gentle hand on Kakashi's trembling shoulder. He shrugged it off not in the mood to be comforted.  
  
Kakashi gazed out on the city below him. The bright city lights obscuring the view of the stars, the bloody seven starred shuriken held loosely between two fingers and said,  
  
"Hunt him down."  
  
  
  
End  
  
  
  



End file.
